Sunday, 18 August 2013

Finding My Fate

As I watched my news feed on every social media network imaginable fill up with A/AS Level students receiving their results this week it made me even more nervous than I already was to find out my GCSE results next week.

On Thursday, I'll head to the school I've spent 5 years at for the last time and pick up a piece of paper with some letters on it which define what I do for the next few years of my life. Although I'm aware a lot of people say that, in the long run, GCSEs don't really count for much and A-Levels are more important and many variations of similar things but that doesn't mean it's not important. If I don't get a certain number of grades I won't be able to go to sixth form where I want to or study what I want to study and that could potentially change a lot for me.

Up until now, I've never been in a situation where I've been so heavily dependent on a piece of writing on a page in any sense and although it is highly unlikely that I haven't got the grades I need to get into sixth form, even if I might not be able to study what I want, it's still very daunting. Also, as a someone who has been considered a 'good student' for my whole school 'career' and is expected by teachers and my fellow pupils to get mainly A's, I feel a massive amount of pressure to get those A's. People often argue with me and say at least the people around me have faith in me as a student but, in my opinion, that's got nothing to do with it. The hours and hours of work I put in were up to me. The many times I went back to various teachers outside of lesson time because I didn't understand something was up to me. Those grades are mine and mine alone and if everyone else is expecting you to get high grades, the pressure can be daunting.

Ultimately, I know no matter what happens on Thursday I put everything I could into those exams and I should be proud of myself but the little voice in my head reminding me of the possibility of failure won't stop just yet.

Are you picking up GCSE results this week or have you recently received your results? Let me know whether you got what you wanted or not and whether you had the same pressure as I did or not :)

Lucy x

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