Finding My Fate

As I watched my news feed on every social media network imaginable fill up with A/AS Level students receiving their results this week it made me even more nervous than I already was to find out my GCSE results next week.

On Thursday, I'll head to the school I've spent 5 years at for the last time and pick up a piece of paper with some letters on it which define what I do for the next few years of my life. Although I'm aware a lot of people say that, in the long run, GCSEs don't really count for much and A-Levels are more important and many variations of similar things but that doesn't mean it's not important. If I don't get a certain number of grades I won't be able to go to sixth form where I want to or study what I want to study and that could potentially change a lot for me.

Up until now, I've never been in a situation where I've been so heavily dependent on a piece of writing on a page in any sense and although it is highly unlikely that I haven't got the grades I need to get into sixth form, even if I might not be able to study what I want, it's still very daunting. Also, as a someone who has been considered a 'good student' for my whole school 'career' and is expected by teachers and my fellow pupils to get mainly A's, I feel a massive amount of pressure to get those A's. People often argue with me and say at least the people around me have faith in me as a student but, in my opinion, that's got nothing to do with it. The hours and hours of work I put in were up to me. The many times I went back to various teachers outside of lesson time because I didn't understand something was up to me. Those grades are mine and mine alone and if everyone else is expecting you to get high grades, the pressure can be daunting.

Ultimately, I know no matter what happens on Thursday I put everything I could into those exams and I should be proud of myself but the little voice in my head reminding me of the possibility of failure won't stop just yet.

Are you picking up GCSE results this week or have you recently received your results? Let me know whether you got what you wanted or not and whether you had the same pressure as I did or not :)

Lucy x

Summer In The City Warm Up Tour (Cardiff)

On Wednesday this week (7th August) my friends and I headed into Cardiff for the Sitc Warm Up tour to see Tom Law, Dodie Clarke (doddleoddle), Dave Giles and Bethan Leadley (musicalsbethan), and let me tell you, it was fantastic.

Soon after we arrived at the venue (around 4pm with the gig scheduled to start at 7.30pm) Dave came outside to say hello and Tom and Dodie arrived at the venue (with a quick comment about how we were earlier than them) and went to leave their instruments inside before coming straight back out for a chat. The 3 of them stayed outside chatting to us (there were already quite a few people in the queue, maybe around 20...ish...) and taking photos for a while before going back in to get ready for the gig. The reason I wanted to mention this is because, to me, that is what YouTube gatherings used to be like and I wish they were still like that now. A small group of people got the chance to meet people whose videos they like and also make friends with other viewers. It was so lovely to get to spend time with Tom, Dodie and Dave like that and I can't really imagine a similar situation where you would get that chance these days because everything's grown so much (take sitc for example!). I know that the majority of gatherings are still just a group of people meeting up in a field somewhere but even then it can be difficult to talk to content creators because there's often a lot of people there. I'm not trying to say that bigger events like vidcon and sitc are bad, I think they're a fantastic chance to get to see a lot of content creators you like in one event but I definitely understand why people say they miss how gatherings used to be.

The gig itself was fantastic. I've watched Tom, Dodie and Bethan's videos for a long time now and Dave is honestly one of my favourite musicians at the moment and I've been listening to his music constantly since Upload 2 (and I'm STILL loving it despite listening to each song hundreds of times). Clwb Ifor Bach is such a lovely, intimate venue and we ended up sat on the floor for most of the gig just enjoying the music. As a fan of acoustic music, I loved having the chance to listen to them all play in that kind of environment and at the end of the gig they turned all the electric equipment off and played a song each with just them and their instrument while we all sang along (still sat on the floor).

They had a meet and greet afterwards but because I managed to get photos with them all before the gig I just took photos of my friends with them (who didn't manage to get photos before), bought an EP off Tom (which is fantastic, I've already listened to it loads) and went to have a photo with Bethan (Bethan didn't come outside before but she did say in the gig that she's ill so I assumed that was why she didn't. She was as lovely as the others in the meet and greet! I did have a photo with her but it didn't turn out great). I also mentioned quickly to Dave how much I appreciated him taking the time to comment on my YouTube video and he said that it was no problem, it was a good video and one of his favourites from Upload which made my night!

 

Overall, it was a really fantastic gig and they were all
so nice! I really enjoyed getting to spend time with them before and if you get the chance to see any of them live I'd definitely go. Also, if you haven't heard of them before please do check out their YouTube channels because they're all fantastic musicians :)

Lucy x

My Blog and I

Hello beautiful person who is reading this and welcome to my blog.

This week I was sort of stuck for ideas of what to blog about and it struck me that this blog doesn't really have any format to it and I thought I'd just ask if that bothers you? Would you prefer it if it did have a format or schedule?

Also, I have no idea how many people read this on a regular basis so I would really love it if you could just leave me a little comment down below letting me know whether you like my blog or not and why. It would really help me improve my blog which is something I'm keen to do.

I really want to get my blog to the best that it can possibly be but to do that I feel like I need feedback from the people who read it because I don't want to post content you're not interested in! I will always blog about things I feel passionately about or my thoughts or feelings at the time but I also want my blog to be a place you enjoy spending time and I want you to enjoy reading my ramblings as much as possible!

Like I said, I'd really love to hear from you if you've taken the time to read this, even if it's the first time you've ever come across my blog! I'd love to hear what I can do to make you stay!

Lucy x

Becoming YouTube Episode 10

If you haven't yet seen the latest episode of Becoming YouTube I suggest you watch it before reading this because otherwise it might not make much sense. Also, this is a bit of a long post so you might want to go grab yourself a cup of tea or something before you sit down to read it (please do still read it though, I'd love to hear what your opinion is). Right, got your tea? Here we go...

I've just finished watching the latest episode of Becoming YouTube, the series created by Ben Cook that follows some of the popular (British with the exception of Hank Green) YouTubers and it has really left me thinking.

Yes, they did make light of a very serious situation by making the last section of the video into a musical but  I think Ben's monologue (rant) in the middle of the video is really the main focus and we all need to really think about what he said. Although I would consider myself a viewer of a lot of YouTubers, possibly even a fan depending on the way you look at it, I've never been the type of person to send gifts via P O Box or to have 'fandom' tumblr or twitter acounts. Personally, especially in the case of YouTubers who are mainly just people who occasionally film a few minutes of their lives and upload them to a website, I've always found that to be an invasion of privacy, like crossing some sort of invisible line between enjoying what they do and appreciating their hard work and creativity and entering their 'personal space'. If they wanted you to know something about their lives, they would share it with you via one of their many social media platforms.

Now having said this, I would be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that likes to speculate over who's dating who or who's really friends outside the realm of the internet but I remind myself of what I said before in situations like this. If they wanted us to know, they'd tell us. It's not our place, as viewers to demand information from them about their personal lives and they shouldn't have to tell us every tiny little detail about them. That's when it goes from being a perfectly harmless appreciation to getting, well, a little bit weird.

One of the main things that had me thinking after watching the video is what Ben says about people sending things to YouTubers. In the video Ben says...

'Most of you would prefer to send presents to your favourite YouTubers than you would to your own family, or, heaven forbid, someone, somewhere in the world, who actually needs aid. Syrian refugee crisis? Yeah, well, why bother? Send food packages to pointlessblogtv instead.'

The scary thing is, it's true. Think of all the time, effort and money people spend sending things to their favourite YouTubers or tweeting them or trying to get their attention for that longed for acknowledgement that they deserve so much more than everyone else because they've been around since the dawn of time (or 2007 as most people call it). I've honestly never thought about this myself until Ben brought it up in the video but once you notice it, you realise just how awful it is. How can people justify spending money sending things to YouTubers when they then claim they haven't got the money to spare to give to charity. What if, instead of spending time watching videos and leaving thousands of comments about how amazing their hair looked people watched the video and then did something more productive with their time like volunteering or even just doing something they love to do and could help their future (for me, this would mean spending more time writing songs or practicing guitar or something similar). What if the monetary value of paper, envelopes, postage and anything else that is put in the contents of the package was given to charity instead of using it to send things. 

Like a few of the interviewees say at the beginning of the video, YouTube has the power to change the world mainly because of the sheer number of people that it reaches. Think how easily videos go viral these days thanks to Facebook getting in on the action and people sharing videos on there too. Think what a drastic change could be made if the content creators managed to find something they all collectively care about strongly enough and we, as viewers, took on board every single word they said.

I really think that this video of Ben's will make a big change to the YouTube 'world', at least I hope it does. I hope that people think about what they're planning on sending to their favourite YouTubers and think of someone more deserving of their money like the people who care for them or people who actually need aid. I hope people think about the personal boundaries that have been set by the people they're watching and respect them before deciding to 'ship' people to the extreme, past the point of it being harmless until it just makes people feel uncomfortable. I hope people think about the content they're watching and actually listen to what people are saying rather than just choosing to watch because, as Ben puts it, they want to see a 'British boy with a fringe'. 

I realise that some of the things I've mentioned here may be hypocritical of me, it would be stupid to think I have never done any of the things I've listed, but what is important is that I've listened to what Ben said and I've taken it on board and it's changed my outlook on things. I feel as if, for me at least, something to do with my perspective on content creators has shifted.

This episode of Becoming YouTube has really put a lot of things into perspective in my opinion and although I could probably go on for a lot longer about the various bits and pieces I picked up on, these were the main points that made me stop and think. 

What did you think of the episode? Do you agree that we should think carefully about how we're spending our time and money when it comes to sending things to content creators? Do you think if you want to ask repeatedly whether two people are dating that's okay? I'd really love to hear what you've got to say on this one so please don't hesitate to leave a comment or to start a conversation in the comments!

Lucy x

Thoughts From Places: My Local Beach

Before I start this blog post I just want to mention that yes I got the idea for this from the vlogbrothers on youtube. I am in no way trying to take credit for something they created, I just really like these videos they do and wanted to put my own spin on it. Also, I have a lot of thoughts from a lot of places. Okay, onto the blog post...

I've grown up in a little town on the coast of South Wales. Because of this, I've always taken it for granted that we've got a beach within walking distance (even if it does take about an hour from my door to the beach!) but recently I've realised how lucky I am to have this.

Our beach isn't the most amazing beach in the world. There's not much sand there, there are a LOT of rocks (just look at the photo at the start of this post!) and due to living in Wales, the sea is almost always too cold to go in. But it's there. I couldn't count how many summer days I've spent down there, when I was younger with my family and now that I'm older with my friends. We make the most of what is there by sitting on the rocks and only going in the sea for a short amount of time and although there isn't much sand to sit on comfortably, there are fields near that we can do the same with. Also, we're lucky enough to have paths on either side of the beach leading up onto the cliffs where we can walk if we get bored of sitting at the beach. The view is absolutely lovely (photo above).

Today got me thinking of how lucky I am to live in a place where I can walk from my house to the beach and then to a field and my friends and I can comfortably spend a day there. The last few weeks or so the weather has been amazing in the UK and we've been taking full advantage of that by going down the beach almost every day! It's so lovely down there when it's warm and it's the perfect place to spend a summer afternoon with friends.

If my summer continues in the way it's begun, I can see already it's going to be the best summer I've had so far. *finger crossed*

Do you have a beach near you? If not, where do you and your friends/family spend sunny summer days? I'd love to hear what it's like where you live! :)

Lucy x

Lauren Aquilina: Sinners EP

If you've never heard of Lauren Aquilina, you're missing out. I've been watching her videos on YouTube for the last few years (and she's one of the very few artists I've stuck loyal to over that time) and she is honestly such an incredibly talented person.

This week her new EP 'Sinners' came out and the song 'Sinners' itself has been chosen as iTunes free single of the week (I'd head over there quickly and download it if I were you, it's fab) and I just wanted to write a little post letting you know how amazing it is.

If all goes to plan, I'll be covering one of the songs of this EP very soon and entering Lauren's competition for support acts for tour so if I do, I'll be sure to let you all know.

I honestly love every song on the EP and if you haven't already please do listen to it!

Lucy x

Remember Me: A Time Capsule in a Song

For those of you that are interested in my music, I uploaded a new YouTube video today that is an original song called 'Remember Me' that I've put a few video clips and photos to from the last few years.

After my last official day in school (that's not including revision sessions or exams), in which my friends and I went all over the school having our t-shirts signed, taking about a million photos with all our year and then spending all afternoon and evening together, I got home and just felt like I really wanted to get everything I was feeling down on paper as a sort of time capsule. My song-writer instinct kicked in and before I knew it I was sat there playing this and scribbling it down on a piece of paper trying to not forget any of the lyrics.

For me, leaving school is a bit deal as I've mentioned in a few of my other posts (especially this one) because there's a significant group of people that I've been in school with since I was 5 and I now won't be. I've always been the type of person who wants to be remembered by people and the thought that in 20 years time the majority of my year won't even remember my name makes me so sad. I don't want to be 'that girl from secondary school who posted videos on youtube' or 'wrote songs'. I want to be remembered as Lucy.

I think that's the main reason this song means so much to me. Still, a few months after writing it, I find myself feeling the same emotion I felt while writing it so strongly every time I play it. This song really is a time capsule for me and I hope everyone who appears in the video at any point will be able to look back on it in the years to come and smile with the memories of the 5 (or 12) years we've spent together.

I'll remember you, will you remember me?


Lucy x